Valentine's Day

What: Valentine's Day.
When: NOT on St. Valentine's Day. Rather, on opening day--February 12th. I had my reasons.
How Long: A fairly long 2 hours, 5 minutes.
What I ate while I watched: Nothing, w*AHEM*I had just had some pizza at Fuel.
Director: Garry Marshall
Starring: Everyone and their frickin' mom. Seriously. I counted 15 well known actors, in addition to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift. Everyone from Ashton Kutcher to George Lopez to Jessica Alba to Patrick McDreamy Dempsey.

Two Sentence Synopsis: Following roughly A WHOLE DAGGUM LOT of story lines, we get a glimpse of what love does to and for people. From a marriage proposal through an affair confession and an attempted "first time having sex" to an unexpected lover, witness a snapshot of all different kinds of love.

I didn't really expect much going into the film, because I hadn't really heard one way or another from critics or friends. I am not yet ready to disclose my main reason for seeing this film, however, the previews showed some interesting snippets and got me piqued enough to not feel horrible about paying to see it.

Let's just say my expectations were met. While there were some fairly entertaining parts, and some entertaining story lines throughout, I just didn't really leave feeling satisfied.

A definite positive was the acting--particular Mr. Kutcher and Mr. Lopez. There were also some redeeming aspects to the plot--requited love, etc...but not enough to win any "amor vincit omnia" or morality awards. Although that's another plus--little to none in the sexuality category.

But on the other hand, I have two problems with the storylines--first, there were too many. It was cool to see how they all connect, but not cool to try to connect to all of them. You end up with no emotional connection and therefore a poor movie.

Second--they were not very dynamic or redeeming. There wasn't much tension and therefore little to no redemption, which really gets the heart pumping. I seriously think the producers/director hoped they could shove enough stardom into one movie to make it explode with theatrical excellence.

Also, the morality and application points were less than stellar--a combination of follow your heart and don't cheat and love takes perseverance. Okay, but not great. I will give them points for effectively relaying the origin story of the film's moniker--I'd never heard it before.

While the ending did wrap things up with a nice little bow, I think that bow sucks. Because I wasn't connected to the characters in the first place, who cares what happens to them.

In conclusion--Don't bother.