Alice In Wonderland

What: Alice in Wonderland
Author: Lewis Carroll.
When: March 6.
How Long: 1 hour, 48 minutes. Kinda shortish.
Where: Manchester, yo.
What I ate While I watched: Mountain Dew Livewire (yum yum yum), Mike & Ikes, and Buncha Crunch, each of which were snuck into the theater to circumvent their exorbitant pricing.
Director: Tim Burton. For the win. I'm fairly certain Lewis Carroll had Mr. Burton in mind for the film adaptation of this work when he wrote it.

Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway (her character was weird).

Two Sentence Synopsis: Alice Kingsley falls into what she thinks is a dream in Underworld (Wonderland), where the inhabitants reluctantly welcome her back. She must face her fears to defeat the tyrannical Red Queen by slaying the Jabberwocky with the Vorpal Sword on Frabjous Day.

As an English major and concerned citizen, I considered it my duty to go see this movie. Because the Burton-Depp-Carter combo has been known to produce good films (although not always), and because it is a classic story with a lot of potential, my expectations were fairly high.

The visual and "entertainment" aspect were definitely way up there, as is to be expected when you join the imaginative forces of Tim Burton and Lewis Carroll. I particularly enjoyed the mumbling cry of the resistance "Down with the bloody Red Queen," which, when spoken, sounded more like "Downbamdebumbydeddeen." But everyone who was insurgent to "The Bloody Red Queen" said it like that.

In fact, the environment Burton created is definitely the film's strongest point. The characters are lively and entertaining, and--as they should be in "Wonderland"--fantastic and wonderful. Anyone who's seen the old animated version will recognize the characters and enjoy the new depictions of them. And even though she was the antagonist, Helena Bonham Carter's Red Queen was pretty astounding, with her all to eager decapitations and playing-card knights.

On the other hand, though, for a film so heavily reliant on CGI, that was somewhat lacking. It wasn't horrible, just not as touched up as I would have hoped. Granted, we all could be a little spoiled after films like Star Trek and Avatar deliver visually stunning work.

Also, the story seemed a little weak. Again, not enough to make me hate it, but just enough to make me uncomfortable with it. And I can't really point to one thing and say "That's it, that's the problem!" but I can only say that something could have been better.

As far as a point of application goes, it amounted to a tip of the hat to the imagination and its powers, almost saying that the imagination is as real as real life. But the movie came back to say that you can't stay in an imaginative state. Creative, yes--but you cannot live your life in a fantasy realm. Which I agree. And even when Alice came back out, she kept her own sense of herself, which is a good thing.

The conclusion--go see it once in theaters. It's worth the price of admission, once.

Valentine's Day

What: Valentine's Day.
When: NOT on St. Valentine's Day. Rather, on opening day--February 12th. I had my reasons.
How Long: A fairly long 2 hours, 5 minutes.
What I ate while I watched: Nothing, w*AHEM*I had just had some pizza at Fuel.
Director: Garry Marshall
Starring: Everyone and their frickin' mom. Seriously. I counted 15 well known actors, in addition to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift. Everyone from Ashton Kutcher to George Lopez to Jessica Alba to Patrick McDreamy Dempsey.

Two Sentence Synopsis: Following roughly A WHOLE DAGGUM LOT of story lines, we get a glimpse of what love does to and for people. From a marriage proposal through an affair confession and an attempted "first time having sex" to an unexpected lover, witness a snapshot of all different kinds of love.

I didn't really expect much going into the film, because I hadn't really heard one way or another from critics or friends. I am not yet ready to disclose my main reason for seeing this film, however, the previews showed some interesting snippets and got me piqued enough to not feel horrible about paying to see it.

Let's just say my expectations were met. While there were some fairly entertaining parts, and some entertaining story lines throughout, I just didn't really leave feeling satisfied.

A definite positive was the acting--particular Mr. Kutcher and Mr. Lopez. There were also some redeeming aspects to the plot--requited love, etc...but not enough to win any "amor vincit omnia" or morality awards. Although that's another plus--little to none in the sexuality category.

But on the other hand, I have two problems with the storylines--first, there were too many. It was cool to see how they all connect, but not cool to try to connect to all of them. You end up with no emotional connection and therefore a poor movie.

Second--they were not very dynamic or redeeming. There wasn't much tension and therefore little to no redemption, which really gets the heart pumping. I seriously think the producers/director hoped they could shove enough stardom into one movie to make it explode with theatrical excellence.

Also, the morality and application points were less than stellar--a combination of follow your heart and don't cheat and love takes perseverance. Okay, but not great. I will give them points for effectively relaying the origin story of the film's moniker--I'd never heard it before.

While the ending did wrap things up with a nice little bow, I think that bow sucks. Because I wasn't connected to the characters in the first place, who cares what happens to them.

In conclusion--Don't bother.

The Hurt Locker

What: The Hurt Locker
How Long: 2 hours, 11 minutes.
Where: Testosterhome.
What I ate while I watched: Klondike bar and 2 Mt. Dews.
Director: Kathryn Bigelow.
Starring: Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, Brian Geraghty, Christian Camargo.

Two Sentence Synopsis: Sgt. James takes over a unit in Iraq that is responsible for disabling IEDs. His cavalier attitude toward the experience creates tension with his teammates Sanborn and Eldridge.

I originally added this one to the good ole Netflix queue because of an article from Paste Magazine. I kept it there because there was a lot of Oscar buzz about the whole shebang, so I naturally expected it to be good, because all Oscar-ed films are great, right? Right.

Overall, a fairly convincing war film. And not political either, which is refreshing. Just an honest depiction of several ways to deal with the stress of everyday disarming things that have the potential to kill you. There were some comical lines throughout, but it was by far a serious movie. And rightly so.

The best parts are the cinematography and writing--wide, open shots add to the desolate effect the setting conveys. My biggest complaint has to do with the ending. **SPOILER** I don't think James should have gone back. I understand why you do it from an artistic point of view, but I think it ruins his credibility as a worthy of leadership character, more so than the poorly-ending little venture into the town did. **SPOILER CONCLUDED**

There is a fair amount of language throughout, so if you have sensitive ears you may want to stay away.

As far as theology goes, there were good points and bad points. My favorite quote was where Sgt. James says "Everyone's a coward about something," because that is definitely true. It's just sad that it ended up he was a coward about living with his family. Poor choice, Kathryn.

In short, rent it.

These Carpets Was Perfect When Yous Moved In

A friend recently called me out on my tendency to change things as soon as they get comfortable. He is unfortunately correct. I say this because I'm thinking about changing how I review things on this blog.

The current format seems a little scientific to me--sure, it's the basic things I'd want and most people want to know about different types of entertainment, but it feels very inorganic. So I think I am going to start reviewing things in a paragraph format--still hitting the same points, just making it a little more fun to read.

The Book of Eli

Witwiwo:

What:The Book of Eli

When: Friday, January 22nd.

How Long: 1 hour, 58 minutes.

Where: Regal Manchester, suckahs! 295 Regal points, yo!

Why: Because I heard from a friend that it was amazing, and because RUF was going.

Expectations: Fairly high. Aforementioned friend said it was phenomenal. Denzel Washington is pretty good. Plus the name just sounds cool.

What I ate while I watched: Here's a heavy one: I had a 20oz Mountain Dew, along with a pack of Sour Patch Kids and about a quarter of a pound of cookie dough bites. Lovely. Also: Diabetes.

Directors: Albert & Allen Hughes.

Starring: Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, Mila Kunis.

Two Sentence Synopsis: A man walks across post-apocalyptic U.S. protecting a sacred book

from the leader of a settlement where he stopped. A young girl from the settlement helps him bring the book to a place where it is needed and will be safe.

My Favorite Part or Quote was:

Solara: I'm sorry about the book
Eli: It's okay. I've spent so long trying to protect it that I forgot to follow what it said.

How Fun It Was: There were exactly not very much funny parts. But some of the actions was pretty sweet. On a side note, is it a bad thing that I recognized one of the guns in the film from playing Call of Duty?

The Positives: The acting was pretty impressive, especially after the twist is revealed. Also, the action was well done, if out of place. By far, however, the message was the best part--very allegorical and thought provoking. Also, for the Christian audience, very practical and insightful.

The Negatives: The action was a tad overdone at one or two parts. It would have fit in a purely action flick, but it seeemed a little out of place for this film. Also, it went a little slow. But that wasn't a huge negative. I thought it built up really well.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: Excellent. A clear message about walking by faith, and also about valuing and living out the Word.

One thing I learned: You can protect the truth and live the Bible at the same time.

The ending:Stellar. Very well done. Except for putting the book between the Qu'ran and the Torah. That was just dumb and overtly and unnecessarily politically correct.

Go/Rent/Buy/Don't: Go see it. Now. Or I will defenestrate you.

The Princess and the Frog

Witwiwo:

What: The Princess and the Frog.

When: 18 January, the anniversary of the day I successfully navigated my mother's birth canal.

How Long: 1 hour, 37 minutes.

Where: Manchester Cinemas in Rock THRILL!

Why: Because it's the first Disney animated movie since daggum Toy Story, suckahs!

What I ate while I watched: Cookie dough bites and a friggin' huge Cherry Coke.

Directors: Ron Clements & John Musker

Starring: No one important.

Expectations: Pretty high--I mean, it is the first animated film from Disney for quite a while. I was hoping it would live up to their previously asserted standards.

Two Sentence Synopsis: Tiana, a New Orleans native, has her dream of owning a restaurant put on hold when she kisses the Prince-turned-frog Naveen and is turned into a frog herself. While trying to find a way to return to being humans, they discover what they need, rather than what they want.

My Favorite Part or Quote was: Probably Ray the lightning bug, his Cajun accent and mannerisms were pretty daggum hilarious. Also, this:
Prince Naveen: I am Naveen, Prince of Maldonia, and she is Tiana, the waitress.
Prince Naveen: [leans close to Louis] Do not kiss her.

How Fun It Was: Seeing as it was a kid's movie, the humor was geared toward kids. That being said, it was giggle-worthy throughout.

The Positives: The writing--good lines throughout. Also the storyline, believable (in the fantastic sense) and not overly-happy nor too scary.

The Negatives: There were one or two characters whose accents I didn't really think were believable, namely the Shadowman and Charlotte. And another slight negative was the a whole lot of Jazz music. There was a good bit, but not enough. Never enough in my opinion.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: Surprisingly good, much better than I expected from a Disney film. While the dangers of dealing in voodoo/magic were emphasized, there was also a focus on the need for love. As Madame Odie puts it, dig deeper and find what you need, not what you want.

One thing I learned: You gotta dig a little deeper and find what you need, not what you want. Which is love. And a trumpet playing alligator.

The ending: Pretty good. I cried a little when a certain someone met an untimely end. Car said I wasn't less of a man for it, either. So there.

Go/Rent/Buy/Don't: If you are fan of the good ol' animated Disney movies, then go see it. If you are not a fan of those, or jazz, or New Orleans, then don't.

The Fantastic Mr. Fox

Witwiwo:

What: The Fantastic Mr. Fox.

When: Friday, the 8th of January.

How Long: 1 hour, 27 minutes. Pretty short, but it it didn't seem really quick.

Where: Cinemark 7! Rock Hill's sketchy cinema! But it is only $2.00! Exclamation point-->!

Why: Because stop animation is so baller. And George Clooney is so fly.

Expectations: So-so. It looked well done by the preview, but some of the clips I'd seen beforehand tipped me off that it was not going to be laugh-fest.

What I ate while I watched: A little bit of my friend's popcorn. But I had just had a burger.

Director: Wes Anderson.

Author: Originally, Roald Dahl.

Starring: George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzman.

Two Sentence Synopsis: Mr. Fox retired from bird thievery to settle down with his family. When he decides to take up his old habits, the local farmer attempt to thwart him.
My Favorite Part or Quote was: How they used the word "cuss" to replace actual cuss words in the dialogue. Even down to the word "clustercuss." It made for some funny dialogue:

Badger: In summation, I think you just got to not do it, man. That's all.
Mr. Fox: I understand what you're saying, and your comments are valuable, but I'm gonna ignore your advice.
Badger: The cuss you are.
Mr. Fox: The cuss am I? Are you cussing with me?
Badger: No, you cussing with me?
Mr. Fox: Don't cussing point at me!
Badger: If you're gonna cuss, you're not gonna cuss with me, you little cuss!

How Fun It Was: Overall, pretty funny--not laugh out loud hilarious the whole time, but the whole thing has a comedic mood.

The Positives: The stop-animation was pretty *ahem* fantastic. And the writing was well done. Even though it didn't have me laughing the whole time, I appreciated the wit. And the substitution of the word "cuss" makes this a movie that will be entertaining and appropriate for all ages. A big plus in my book.

The Negatives: The plot, while not really weak, was not incredibly engaging. It was a tad difficult to relate to the characters (and not because they are animals). I haven't read the story by Roald Dahl, so I don't know how accurate of an adaptation it was, but that is my biggest criticism.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: There was a good bit about family values and trust. And understanding yourself. It's difficult to discern a clear point of application, because there wasn't much of a resolution in that area.

One thing I learned: You can easily substitute the F, S, D, B, A, and H words for the word "cuss," without losing much of the force of the statement. I am going to try to implement this.

The ending: Again, *ahem* pretty fantastic. Not honky-dory resolved, but wrapped up quite nicely.

Go/Rent/Buy/Don't: Rent it. Don't worry about the big screen. But it's a nice family flick.