Alice In Wonderland

What: Alice in Wonderland
Author: Lewis Carroll.
When: March 6.
How Long: 1 hour, 48 minutes. Kinda shortish.
Where: Manchester, yo.
What I ate While I watched: Mountain Dew Livewire (yum yum yum), Mike & Ikes, and Buncha Crunch, each of which were snuck into the theater to circumvent their exorbitant pricing.
Director: Tim Burton. For the win. I'm fairly certain Lewis Carroll had Mr. Burton in mind for the film adaptation of this work when he wrote it.

Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway (her character was weird).

Two Sentence Synopsis: Alice Kingsley falls into what she thinks is a dream in Underworld (Wonderland), where the inhabitants reluctantly welcome her back. She must face her fears to defeat the tyrannical Red Queen by slaying the Jabberwocky with the Vorpal Sword on Frabjous Day.

As an English major and concerned citizen, I considered it my duty to go see this movie. Because the Burton-Depp-Carter combo has been known to produce good films (although not always), and because it is a classic story with a lot of potential, my expectations were fairly high.

The visual and "entertainment" aspect were definitely way up there, as is to be expected when you join the imaginative forces of Tim Burton and Lewis Carroll. I particularly enjoyed the mumbling cry of the resistance "Down with the bloody Red Queen," which, when spoken, sounded more like "Downbamdebumbydeddeen." But everyone who was insurgent to "The Bloody Red Queen" said it like that.

In fact, the environment Burton created is definitely the film's strongest point. The characters are lively and entertaining, and--as they should be in "Wonderland"--fantastic and wonderful. Anyone who's seen the old animated version will recognize the characters and enjoy the new depictions of them. And even though she was the antagonist, Helena Bonham Carter's Red Queen was pretty astounding, with her all to eager decapitations and playing-card knights.

On the other hand, though, for a film so heavily reliant on CGI, that was somewhat lacking. It wasn't horrible, just not as touched up as I would have hoped. Granted, we all could be a little spoiled after films like Star Trek and Avatar deliver visually stunning work.

Also, the story seemed a little weak. Again, not enough to make me hate it, but just enough to make me uncomfortable with it. And I can't really point to one thing and say "That's it, that's the problem!" but I can only say that something could have been better.

As far as a point of application goes, it amounted to a tip of the hat to the imagination and its powers, almost saying that the imagination is as real as real life. But the movie came back to say that you can't stay in an imaginative state. Creative, yes--but you cannot live your life in a fantasy realm. Which I agree. And even when Alice came back out, she kept her own sense of herself, which is a good thing.

The conclusion--go see it once in theaters. It's worth the price of admission, once.

Valentine's Day

What: Valentine's Day.
When: NOT on St. Valentine's Day. Rather, on opening day--February 12th. I had my reasons.
How Long: A fairly long 2 hours, 5 minutes.
What I ate while I watched: Nothing, w*AHEM*I had just had some pizza at Fuel.
Director: Garry Marshall
Starring: Everyone and their frickin' mom. Seriously. I counted 15 well known actors, in addition to Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift. Everyone from Ashton Kutcher to George Lopez to Jessica Alba to Patrick McDreamy Dempsey.

Two Sentence Synopsis: Following roughly A WHOLE DAGGUM LOT of story lines, we get a glimpse of what love does to and for people. From a marriage proposal through an affair confession and an attempted "first time having sex" to an unexpected lover, witness a snapshot of all different kinds of love.

I didn't really expect much going into the film, because I hadn't really heard one way or another from critics or friends. I am not yet ready to disclose my main reason for seeing this film, however, the previews showed some interesting snippets and got me piqued enough to not feel horrible about paying to see it.

Let's just say my expectations were met. While there were some fairly entertaining parts, and some entertaining story lines throughout, I just didn't really leave feeling satisfied.

A definite positive was the acting--particular Mr. Kutcher and Mr. Lopez. There were also some redeeming aspects to the plot--requited love, etc...but not enough to win any "amor vincit omnia" or morality awards. Although that's another plus--little to none in the sexuality category.

But on the other hand, I have two problems with the storylines--first, there were too many. It was cool to see how they all connect, but not cool to try to connect to all of them. You end up with no emotional connection and therefore a poor movie.

Second--they were not very dynamic or redeeming. There wasn't much tension and therefore little to no redemption, which really gets the heart pumping. I seriously think the producers/director hoped they could shove enough stardom into one movie to make it explode with theatrical excellence.

Also, the morality and application points were less than stellar--a combination of follow your heart and don't cheat and love takes perseverance. Okay, but not great. I will give them points for effectively relaying the origin story of the film's moniker--I'd never heard it before.

While the ending did wrap things up with a nice little bow, I think that bow sucks. Because I wasn't connected to the characters in the first place, who cares what happens to them.

In conclusion--Don't bother.

The Hurt Locker

What: The Hurt Locker
How Long: 2 hours, 11 minutes.
Where: Testosterhome.
What I ate while I watched: Klondike bar and 2 Mt. Dews.
Director: Kathryn Bigelow.
Starring: Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, Brian Geraghty, Christian Camargo.

Two Sentence Synopsis: Sgt. James takes over a unit in Iraq that is responsible for disabling IEDs. His cavalier attitude toward the experience creates tension with his teammates Sanborn and Eldridge.

I originally added this one to the good ole Netflix queue because of an article from Paste Magazine. I kept it there because there was a lot of Oscar buzz about the whole shebang, so I naturally expected it to be good, because all Oscar-ed films are great, right? Right.

Overall, a fairly convincing war film. And not political either, which is refreshing. Just an honest depiction of several ways to deal with the stress of everyday disarming things that have the potential to kill you. There were some comical lines throughout, but it was by far a serious movie. And rightly so.

The best parts are the cinematography and writing--wide, open shots add to the desolate effect the setting conveys. My biggest complaint has to do with the ending. **SPOILER** I don't think James should have gone back. I understand why you do it from an artistic point of view, but I think it ruins his credibility as a worthy of leadership character, more so than the poorly-ending little venture into the town did. **SPOILER CONCLUDED**

There is a fair amount of language throughout, so if you have sensitive ears you may want to stay away.

As far as theology goes, there were good points and bad points. My favorite quote was where Sgt. James says "Everyone's a coward about something," because that is definitely true. It's just sad that it ended up he was a coward about living with his family. Poor choice, Kathryn.

In short, rent it.

These Carpets Was Perfect When Yous Moved In

A friend recently called me out on my tendency to change things as soon as they get comfortable. He is unfortunately correct. I say this because I'm thinking about changing how I review things on this blog.

The current format seems a little scientific to me--sure, it's the basic things I'd want and most people want to know about different types of entertainment, but it feels very inorganic. So I think I am going to start reviewing things in a paragraph format--still hitting the same points, just making it a little more fun to read.

The Book of Eli

Witwiwo:

What:The Book of Eli

When: Friday, January 22nd.

How Long: 1 hour, 58 minutes.

Where: Regal Manchester, suckahs! 295 Regal points, yo!

Why: Because I heard from a friend that it was amazing, and because RUF was going.

Expectations: Fairly high. Aforementioned friend said it was phenomenal. Denzel Washington is pretty good. Plus the name just sounds cool.

What I ate while I watched: Here's a heavy one: I had a 20oz Mountain Dew, along with a pack of Sour Patch Kids and about a quarter of a pound of cookie dough bites. Lovely. Also: Diabetes.

Directors: Albert & Allen Hughes.

Starring: Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, Mila Kunis.

Two Sentence Synopsis: A man walks across post-apocalyptic U.S. protecting a sacred book

from the leader of a settlement where he stopped. A young girl from the settlement helps him bring the book to a place where it is needed and will be safe.

My Favorite Part or Quote was:

Solara: I'm sorry about the book
Eli: It's okay. I've spent so long trying to protect it that I forgot to follow what it said.

How Fun It Was: There were exactly not very much funny parts. But some of the actions was pretty sweet. On a side note, is it a bad thing that I recognized one of the guns in the film from playing Call of Duty?

The Positives: The acting was pretty impressive, especially after the twist is revealed. Also, the action was well done, if out of place. By far, however, the message was the best part--very allegorical and thought provoking. Also, for the Christian audience, very practical and insightful.

The Negatives: The action was a tad overdone at one or two parts. It would have fit in a purely action flick, but it seeemed a little out of place for this film. Also, it went a little slow. But that wasn't a huge negative. I thought it built up really well.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: Excellent. A clear message about walking by faith, and also about valuing and living out the Word.

One thing I learned: You can protect the truth and live the Bible at the same time.

The ending:Stellar. Very well done. Except for putting the book between the Qu'ran and the Torah. That was just dumb and overtly and unnecessarily politically correct.

Go/Rent/Buy/Don't: Go see it. Now. Or I will defenestrate you.

The Princess and the Frog

Witwiwo:

What: The Princess and the Frog.

When: 18 January, the anniversary of the day I successfully navigated my mother's birth canal.

How Long: 1 hour, 37 minutes.

Where: Manchester Cinemas in Rock THRILL!

Why: Because it's the first Disney animated movie since daggum Toy Story, suckahs!

What I ate while I watched: Cookie dough bites and a friggin' huge Cherry Coke.

Directors: Ron Clements & John Musker

Starring: No one important.

Expectations: Pretty high--I mean, it is the first animated film from Disney for quite a while. I was hoping it would live up to their previously asserted standards.

Two Sentence Synopsis: Tiana, a New Orleans native, has her dream of owning a restaurant put on hold when she kisses the Prince-turned-frog Naveen and is turned into a frog herself. While trying to find a way to return to being humans, they discover what they need, rather than what they want.

My Favorite Part or Quote was: Probably Ray the lightning bug, his Cajun accent and mannerisms were pretty daggum hilarious. Also, this:
Prince Naveen: I am Naveen, Prince of Maldonia, and she is Tiana, the waitress.
Prince Naveen: [leans close to Louis] Do not kiss her.

How Fun It Was: Seeing as it was a kid's movie, the humor was geared toward kids. That being said, it was giggle-worthy throughout.

The Positives: The writing--good lines throughout. Also the storyline, believable (in the fantastic sense) and not overly-happy nor too scary.

The Negatives: There were one or two characters whose accents I didn't really think were believable, namely the Shadowman and Charlotte. And another slight negative was the a whole lot of Jazz music. There was a good bit, but not enough. Never enough in my opinion.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: Surprisingly good, much better than I expected from a Disney film. While the dangers of dealing in voodoo/magic were emphasized, there was also a focus on the need for love. As Madame Odie puts it, dig deeper and find what you need, not what you want.

One thing I learned: You gotta dig a little deeper and find what you need, not what you want. Which is love. And a trumpet playing alligator.

The ending: Pretty good. I cried a little when a certain someone met an untimely end. Car said I wasn't less of a man for it, either. So there.

Go/Rent/Buy/Don't: If you are fan of the good ol' animated Disney movies, then go see it. If you are not a fan of those, or jazz, or New Orleans, then don't.

The Fantastic Mr. Fox

Witwiwo:

What: The Fantastic Mr. Fox.

When: Friday, the 8th of January.

How Long: 1 hour, 27 minutes. Pretty short, but it it didn't seem really quick.

Where: Cinemark 7! Rock Hill's sketchy cinema! But it is only $2.00! Exclamation point-->!

Why: Because stop animation is so baller. And George Clooney is so fly.

Expectations: So-so. It looked well done by the preview, but some of the clips I'd seen beforehand tipped me off that it was not going to be laugh-fest.

What I ate while I watched: A little bit of my friend's popcorn. But I had just had a burger.

Director: Wes Anderson.

Author: Originally, Roald Dahl.

Starring: George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzman.

Two Sentence Synopsis: Mr. Fox retired from bird thievery to settle down with his family. When he decides to take up his old habits, the local farmer attempt to thwart him.
My Favorite Part or Quote was: How they used the word "cuss" to replace actual cuss words in the dialogue. Even down to the word "clustercuss." It made for some funny dialogue:

Badger: In summation, I think you just got to not do it, man. That's all.
Mr. Fox: I understand what you're saying, and your comments are valuable, but I'm gonna ignore your advice.
Badger: The cuss you are.
Mr. Fox: The cuss am I? Are you cussing with me?
Badger: No, you cussing with me?
Mr. Fox: Don't cussing point at me!
Badger: If you're gonna cuss, you're not gonna cuss with me, you little cuss!

How Fun It Was: Overall, pretty funny--not laugh out loud hilarious the whole time, but the whole thing has a comedic mood.

The Positives: The stop-animation was pretty *ahem* fantastic. And the writing was well done. Even though it didn't have me laughing the whole time, I appreciated the wit. And the substitution of the word "cuss" makes this a movie that will be entertaining and appropriate for all ages. A big plus in my book.

The Negatives: The plot, while not really weak, was not incredibly engaging. It was a tad difficult to relate to the characters (and not because they are animals). I haven't read the story by Roald Dahl, so I don't know how accurate of an adaptation it was, but that is my biggest criticism.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: There was a good bit about family values and trust. And understanding yourself. It's difficult to discern a clear point of application, because there wasn't much of a resolution in that area.

One thing I learned: You can easily substitute the F, S, D, B, A, and H words for the word "cuss," without losing much of the force of the statement. I am going to try to implement this.

The ending: Again, *ahem* pretty fantastic. Not honky-dory resolved, but wrapped up quite nicely.

Go/Rent/Buy/Don't: Rent it. Don't worry about the big screen. But it's a nice family flick.

The International

Witwiwo:

What: The Internatinal.

When: January 7th, 2010

How Long: 1 hour, 58 minutes.

Where: THE TESTOSTERHOME.

Why: Because we couldn't decide between Casino Royale and Mighty Ducks. So we went with this.

What I ate while I watched: Cherry 7up and a pudding cup for the Win!

Director: Tom Tykwer

Starring: Clive Owen, Naomi Watts.

Expectations: The trailer was intriguing, but I wasn't really convinced. I wasn't expecting much as a movie, but I do know Clive Owen is a pretty good actor, so I was hoping.

Two Sentence Synopsis: Louis Salinger is an Interpol agent trying to prove the underhanded dealings of the International Bank of Business and Credit (IBBC). With the help of New York cop Eleanor Whitman he makes some headway into the case, only to find it may be more dangerous and difficult than he anticipated.

My Favorite Part or Quote was: The gunfight in the Guggenheim Museum. Really well done, as far as action choreography goes.

"There is a difference between truth and fiction. Fiction has to make sense."

"Sometimes a man meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it."

How Fun It Was: Some of the action was entertaining. Other than that, not much.

The Positives: The way the movie was not like the trailer. I thought that it was going to be all about this bank that was literally unstoppable. While there was an element of the criminal connectedness, it wasn't impenetrable "Big-Brother"-esque.

The Negatives: I found it very difficult to get emotionally engaged, I didn't really care why they wanted to take down the bank. And it built up to relatively little.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: There were those two quotes up there, a tad bit of redemption...but not much to speak of.

One thing I learned: Yes, people sill make so-so movies. I'd forgotten after the last few movies I'd seen.

The ending: Bleh. I didn't like it at all. It was unresolved, which I'm usually a fan of, but in this case it was just poorly done.

Go/Rent/Buy/Don't: Don't bother.

(500) Days of Summer

Witwiwo:

What: (500) Days of Summer

When: January 5, 2010.

How Long: 1 hour, 35 minutes. A tad short, but solid.

Where: At the Schley residence, actually. Watchin' a flick at home for once.

Why: Partially because Zooey Deschanel is the prettiest girl in showbiz. And I've heard only good things about it.

What I ate while I watched: Koolaid and Cheerios!

Director: Marc Webb

Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt and (The Lovely) Zooey Deschanel.

Expectations: Very high, because of my appreciation of Zooey and zero-concession-praises of the film that I have heard.

Two Sentence Synopsis: Tom Hanson meets Summer Finn and falls for her, hard. The next 500 days of her presence in his life radically change his view on love and consequently, his life.

My Favorite Part or Quote was:

Vance: Lately your work has been a little off--

Tom: What do you mean?

Vance: Here's one you wrote the other day--"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, F*ck You, whore."

How Fun It Was: Pretty good stuff throughout, the overall mood of the movie wasn't funny, but there were some pretty comical stuff.

The Positives: The storyline and directing was superb. Cutting between the various days in the relationship was a very effective touch. Just the way the movie was put together, the cutscenes and the music...all well done. That's what you get with an indie film though.

The Negatives: It has the potential to be a boring film. It can engage you well, but my father ended up walking out because the movie didn't make him care enough. So I can see how it could be boring. If you miss connecting with the story early, then yes, the movie will be a bore for ya.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: It seemed to be mostly focused on the nature of love, and the different concepts we place around it--destiny, "the one," etc. I really like the closing narration: the narrator essentially said that Tom didn't believe in fate anymore...or he was at least pretty sure about it...and then proceeded to act contrarily to that. I did like how it affirmed fate in an back-handed way. Other than that, the tagline really nails the premise: "This is not a love story, it is a story about love."

One thing I learned: Love is not as easy to nail down as even I, the greatly wise one, had estimated. I've always considered that there is a complete and truthful definition of love out there, and I still do, but I am much less confident I know what that definition is. I really liked it when this bit came up:

Tom: I need to know that you're not gonna wake up in the morning and feel differently.

Summer: And I can't give you that. Nobody can.

Even if I don't necessarily agree.

The ending: I don't know if it could have been better. If it could, tell me how.

Go/Rent/Buy/Don't: Go rent it, now. If you don't want to keep watching it after 30 minutes, then by all means, don't let my review be the thing that keeps you watching.

Up in the Air

Witwiwo:

What: Up in the Air

When: Sunday, January 3rd.

How Long: 1 hour, 49 minutes. Not too short, not too long.

Where: Good ol' Summerville Azalea theatre. It's been a while since I'd been there.

Why: I saw the preview this past semester when I was supposed to be working on a paper, and was highly intrigued by the concept.

What I ate while I watched: A free soda because Regal Cinemas loves me. Or my money. Go Regal club!

Director: Jason Reitman

Starring: George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, Anna Kendrick, Jason Bateman.

Expectations: Fairly high. Between the preview, Clooney's record and the sterling reviews most people I know have given it, I was expecting a good bit.

Two Sentence Synopsis: Ryan Bingham fires people for a living, travelling all over the country to do so, aspiring to obtain 10,000,000 frequent flyer miles. When Ryan is partnered with the much younger new girl, Natalie, and meets an on-the-road fling, Alex, conflicting ideas of what it means to live causes enough tension that both Ryan and Natalie are forced to re-evaluate their lives.

My Favorite Part or Quote was: Pretty difficult to pick--there were a lot of good quotes, philosophical and comical. Here was one I really liked though:

Ryan: [Talking about his 10,000,000 flyer miles goal]...and you get your name on the side of a plane...

Natalie: Oh my God, you men never grow up, it's like you have to pee on everything. It's like you're afraid of mortality.

Ryan: And why do you suppose that is?

Natalie: I don't know, probably because you can't have babies.

Ryan: Oh, the babies argument.

(Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure I didn't quote that word for word, but it's close)

How Fun It Was: Hil-daggum-larious. (compound words FTW) So many one liners, and then Zach Galifianakis' little side-sketch about being fired had me cracking up. And I quote:

Ryan: Do you know why kids look up to sports stars?

Employee: I dunno, because they have sex with lingerie models?

Ryan: No, that's why we look up to sports stars. Kids look up to sports stars because they follow their dreams.

The Positives: The writing was stellar. More than stellar. Interstellar, you might say. And the smoothly connected conflict between what Natalie thought life was about and the corresponding ideas of Ryan, along with their separate issues left you a flick you could decide the meaning to. Also, the cinematography was subtly fantastic.

The Negatives: Hmm...for some, a touch 0' the language throughout. I didn't so much mind it, but you may. Not much else. I would be fine if this one swept a good portion of the awards.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: Like I just said, it is left a little open to interpretation. There is the idea that Ryan lives out--keep moving and don't be tied down, that relationships are the heaviest weight you will bear and therefore should be avoided, which directly conflicts with Natalie's lifestyle of trying to seek out companionship and staying connected. Each character realizes some slight value in the other's viewpoint, while not necessarily adopting it full-on. Essentially, recognizing the value in other people's ideas.

One thing I learned: Not everyone who has a radical viewpoint or lifestyle does so for dumb reasons. There is value in understanding and destroying other's paradigms.

The ending: Took me completely by surprise, in a good way. The twist--which I will not reveal--blew me away and the movie is much better for it. A tad unresolved, but artfully done.

Go/Rent/Buy/Don't: GO SEE THIS MOVIE! I'm serious. Yes, you won't lose a whole lot from the theater to your television, but it is worth getting yourself into the theater for it. And if you don't, then buy it. And if you don't at least rent it, I will hand deliver a box of feces to your place of residence.

The Purpose

If we've learned anything from the title of Rick Warren's bestselling book (because I haven't delved further into it than that) then I should do something with purpose.

So then, just to let you know, the purpose behind this blog is to provide me an outlet/voice to what I think about different types of entertainment. I already analyze things when I partake of them, and I do like to tell others about entertainment I enjoyed (or didn't).

I hope that I've got a slightly different look on things, coming from a mildly theological point of view, with my naturally literary point of view.

If you ever want to know what I thought of a particular piece of entertainment, be it film, book, music, magazine, television show or viral video, etc, then just ask. And hopefully I will oblige. Unless I'm a jerk. Which is a good possibility.

Sherlock Holmes

Witwiwo:

What: Sherlock Holmes

When: December 25, 2009--Christmas, baby!

How Long: Just over 2 hours.

Where: Charleston's sketchy theater--Oakbrook. I mean, it is only $4.

Director: Guy Ritchie

Author: Sort of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. A big sort of.

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, Rachel McAdams, Mark Strong.

Why: Because I love me some Sir A.C. Doyle, and some Downey Jr. And Law. And because it was a gift to the kids for Christmas.

Expectations: Pretty high, with those two as lead roles and the trailers running nonstop for the past month and a half, I've been looking forward to it.

What I ate while I watched: Some popcorn and about a frillion Twizzlers.

Two Sentence Synopsis: The very Downey Jr.-ed Holmes teams up with the reluctant Dr. Watson to battle the supposed black magic of Lord Blackwood. Along the way they kick a bunch of random butt to unearth an ironically non-magical villain.

My Favorite Part or Quote was: Ooo, that's a hard one. There were quite a few one-liners.

Holmes' and Watson's dialogue throughout was pretty hilarious. I quite liked their argument in jail though, when Watson complains that Holmes' steals his clothes, to which Holmes replies "we have a barter system."

How Fun It Was: Pretty daggum funny. A lot of the comical parts were in the trailer but there are still others, and they didn't seem forced.

The Positives: The plot was pretty good. Not easy to predict, at least. And the very subtle use of Holmes perceptive abilities was a nice touch. Also the dialogue between Holmes and just about anyone.

The Negatives: The focus on the action seemed a little out of touch with who Holmes is in the historical understanding. Not that it wasn't enjoyable, but it did take away from the sleuth aspect of his nature. Also, not that it wasn't enjoyable, but Downey plays very similar roles in most of his movies, and feel that this Holmes was almost created for that role. And finally, the computer generated images left a good bit to be desired.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: Pretty much nonexistent. There was a hint of the supremacy of rationalism and logic that could be seen through Holmes' methods.

One thing I learned: Uh, bring your own drink because the theater soda will quickly run out if you have several people sharing it.

The ending: Decent. A little clean, I felt. And open-ended. I feel like they started in the wrong part of Holmes and Watson's relationship if they intend to make a sequel.

Go/Rent/Buy/Don't: I didn't feel like I wasted money on seeing it in theaters, but you aren't losing a whole lot by not seeing it on the big screen. It is solidly worth the rental, but I would say go see it.

Avatar

Witwiwo:

What: Avatar

When: Friday, December 18

How Long: 2 daggum hours and 42 frickin' minutes. Really long, in other words.

Where: Manchester Cinemas, Rock Hill

Why: That would be a question more appropriately directed at James Cameron. But mostly because the trailer looked pretty epic and I'm all for some kick=assery and alien cultures.

Director: James Cameron (also the author)

Starring: Sam Worthington, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang, Zoe Saldana, Michelle Rodriguez, Giovanni Ribisi, Joel Moore.

Expectations: Fairly high, because Cameron spent half a billion on it's production, and I've heard buzz about his new technology for over a year now.

What I ate while I watched: Cookie dough bites and a Mountain Dew Livewire

Two Sentence Synopsis: Handicapped Marine Jake Sully guides an 'avatar' alien body in order to infiltrate the Na'vi, natives of the alien world Pandora. His growing involvement with the Na'vi brings him into conflict with the greedy corporation behind the human expedition on Pandora.

My Favorite Part or Quote was: The final battle. I mean, there were a few quotes here and there, but it was epic and it kept me on the edge of my seat.

How Fun It Was: Like I said, a few quotes here and there, but overall not hilarious. Very entertaining though. Visually if nothing else.

The Positives: The graphics were pretty amazing, as was the the action. I also thought the culture and 'alienness' of the Na'vi and Pandora as a world was very well done. It really felt like a different, fantastic world.

The Negatives: The plot. It was fairly stock and easy to predict. Greedy corporation seeks to destroy nature and the native race. Spy turns sympathizer with a love interest in the chiefs daughter. Nothing I hadn't seen before. Also, the major "Mother Earth" overtones with the Na'vi and their religion was pretty tiring to sit through.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: The basic point was don't get so greedy you go destroying the environment or indigenous peoples. Also, don't be unaccepting of those who are different from you. Fairly tired and dumb concepts to be hammered at in this repetitive way.

One thing I learned: A worn-out message and fairly stock plot can be made very entertaining if accompanied by good cinematography. And it can keep me on the edge of my seat. And make me tear up a little. Just a little.

The ending: Pretty good. A little happy, but not too americanly so.

Go/Rent/Buy/Don't: Go see it, because it is an experience on the big screen. It is worth at least the price of admission.

Run Fatboy Run

Witwiwo:

What: Run Fatboy Run

When: 12/12/09

How Long: 1 hour, 39 minutes.

Where: TESTOSTERHOME FTW.

Why: Because I love me some Simon Pegg.

Director: David Schwimmer

Starring: Simon Pegg, Hank Azaria, Thandie Newton

What I ate while I watched: A klondike bar. Always. Like Walmart's low prices.

Expectations: Meh, not too much. Then only thing I'd heard was that it was differently than Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz.

Two Sentence Synopsis: Dennis Doyle leaves his pregnant wife at the altar and realizes it was a huge mistake five years later. He decides to run a marathon to show her he's changed and to show up her new "perfect" boyfriend.

My Favorite Part or Quote was:
Gordon: You left her pregnant at the altar!
Dennis: That was five years ago!
Gordon: Well, I guess women just have a long memory for that kind of thing.

How Fun It Was: DAGGUM HILARIOUS. I was literally laughing out loud (not 'loling') for most of the film.

The Positives: The comedy, for sure, and the message behind what Dennis was doing--it wasn't just straight up revenge and I-will-win-my-girl-back fanaticism.

The Negatives: Whit (the new boyfriend) was conveniently perfect to begin with and then conveniently douchebaggish at the end. There was little progression or early indication. It wasn't horrible, it was just not my favorite part.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: Fairly decent; Had a lot to say about fulfilling others expectations of you, and wanting the best for people. Dennis didn't leave because he was afraid of commitment, but because he was afraid he couldn't give Libby what she deserved. Good stuff.

One thing I learned: Large Indian guys will always be funny. Especially when they give good marriage advice.

The ending: Excellent. Wrapped up and "happy," but not perfectly neat.

Go/Rent/Buy/Don't: Definitely rent, worth the purchase.

I and Love and You

Witwiwo:

What: I and Love and You.

By Whom: The Avett Brothers.

How Long: 13 tracks of goodness, it took me a few days to give it a good listen-to.

Where: Mostly in my car.

Why: Well, I'd heard about them a while ago, then more recently through Ryan Hollingsworth's blog, but it was this video and a wicked good deal on Amazon that pushed me over to purchasing it.

Expectations: Fairly low even though several friends lauded them greatly to me.

Two Sentence Synopsis: Imagine a few guys who grew up hearing bluegrass and rock decided to make an indie album. Then they take a good theology book and slam it skillfully into highly relatable lyrics: voila!

My Favorite Part or Quote was:
from "Head full of Doubt/Road full of Promise"

There’s a darkness upon me that’s flooded in light
In the fine print they tell me what’s wrong and what’s right
And it comes in black and it comes in white
And I’m frightened by those that don’t see it.

--with a close second from "Kick Drum Heart"

There's nothing like finding gold
within the rocks and the coal.
I'm so surprised to find more,
Always surprised to find more.

I won't look back anymore--
I left the people that do.
Its not the chase that I love,
Its me following you.

My-my heart like a kick drum!
My-my love like a voice!

How Fun It Was: No all-out hilarious parts, but there's some fun little ditty qualities to "January Wedding" and "Kick Drum Heart."

The Positives: Oh, where to begin? I would definitely have to say the lyrics. Definitely the strongest part of the album. A close second would be the variety of songs--all of a similar style but each distinct and separate from the others. Also, the general "funness" of the album--I could sing the chorus to "Kick Drum Heart" over and over and over again--and indeed I have.

The Negatives: Sadly, this album will not appeal to everyone at a first listen through. It takes some time with the songs to get the feel of them, with the exception of two or three catchy choruses. I only hope people have the diligence to give it at least two listen-throughs. Also--the album art (pictured above). I under the reasoning behind it, I just think something else would have better suited the album.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: Oh, again--where to begin? Like I said--good theology crammed into easy-to-relate-to lyrics.

• Total depravity ["There’s a darkness upon me that’s flooded in light"]
• God's ownership and justice ["will you forget when we have paid our debt/Who did we borrow from?"]
• Pride as a dangerous sin ["I wanna have pride like my mother has,/And not like the kind in the Bible that turns you bad."]
• God's sovereignty and the importance of love ["Free is not your right to chose/It's answering what's asked of you/To give the love you find until it's gone"]

Solid gold theology. And the best part is it's accessible to the everyday person who will most assuredly resonate with these lyrics and more.

One thing I learned: That if I want to write some bangin' poetry in my lifetime, which I do, I have some work to do to catch up with what The Avett Brothers have laid down. And all their stuff is accompanied by daggum good music! So many of these songs I am jealous that they came up with them first!

Go/Borrow/Buy/Don't: I am obviously a fan of this album. Go buy it (<-that's how I got it), it will be well worth your money. If you do borrow it just to try it out, please go buy it. Because it's well worth your money. Also, a friend has mentioned that they put on a great show. So go see them too.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

Witwiwo:

What: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

When: Monday, November 30th.

How Long: 2 hours, 39 minutes.

Where: The TESTOSTERHOME.

Why: Because I love me some good western filmage. And we got it in the mail from Netflix.

Expectations: Pretty grand because I few people had talked it up to me, and because Casey Affleck and Brad Pitt are good actors.

What I ate while I watched: A pizza and a peanut butter ice cream sandwich.

Director: Andrew Dominik

Starring: Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck, Sam Rockwell, Jeremy Renner, Paul Schneider. And a really small role for Zooey Deschanel.

Two Sentence Synopsis: In his mid thirties, Jesse James grows more suspicious as he begins to feel is mortality. Robert Ford, a long time admirer of James becomes jealous of him after working with James, assassinates him, and deals with the consequences.

My Favorite Part or Quote was: When Jesse cried after beating the crap out of a teenage boy. It really showed his conflicted nature well.

How Fun It Was: Very entertaining, not very funny.

The Positives: The acting was immaculate. Casey's role as Robert was a-daggum-mazing. And Brad Pitt once again put on a wonderful display as the notorious Jesse James.

The Negatives: The length and speed. It was a loooooong film. It was worth it, but it was really difficult to get going. If I didn't love westerns so much I would have been tempted to give up after and hour and a half. Also, there was no gunslinging, unfortunately.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: Some good points about mortality and trust. Really questioned issues of pride and arrogance as well.

One thing I learned: Something I already really knew: pride is no way to live your life, nor is it a way to make life changing decisions like assassinating a well-known criminal.

The ending: The best part. In the middle, I was not really a fan of where they were headed, and was doubtful if I would end up liking the movie. But the end, with the "denouement" after Jesse's assassination was really enjoyable.

Go/Rent/Buy/Don't: It's definitely worth the rental, and if you want to have a 2 hour 39 minutes film in your collection, then this is a good one to get.

Zombieland

Witwiwo:

What: Zombieland.

When: December 6, 2009.

How Long: 1 hour, 28 minutes.

Where: Carmike Cinema 7--yeah $2 movie tickets and sketchy atmosphere!

Why: Because I'd heard it was excellent and honestly, who can beat $2 tickets?

Expectations: Relatively high, although it is a zombie comedy so that was somewhat of an expectation dampener.

What I ate while I watched: Nothing, sadly, because I had just partaken of some Meat Lover's and Bacon pizza from Papa John's.

Director: Ruben Fleischer.

Starring: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin and surprisingly, Bill Murray.

Two Sentence Synopsis: In a post-zombie-apocalyptic U.S. (Zombieland), a young man known (to us) as "Columbus, OH" meets and joins an older man, "Tallahassee," with a penchant for killing zombies, and oddly, Twinkies. They in turn meet up with two sisters and together learn about trust while kicking some zombie ass.

My Favorite Part or Quote was: Oh, that's hard--probably their road trip. But as far as a single quote, there is this one:

Little Rock: Who's Bill Murray?

Tallahassee: ...I've never hit a kid before... I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is.

Little Rock: Who's Gandhi?

How Fun It Was: Hilarious. Probably one of the funnier movies I've seen this year. I was laughing out loud throughout the whole thing.

The Positives: First, the comedy--amazing. Second--the lack of typical Zombie movie philosophical questions. No wondering "Should I shoot my loved one who has turned Zombie?" or "Are they still partially human." And no search for a cure.

The Negatives: The language. I mean, I didn't have the biggest problem with it personally, but it was a little unnecessary at times. "Bill F*cking Murray" for example. (And I quote: "I know it's not your middle name.")

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: Like I said earlier, not much...but there was a good bit of dialogue about trust and what it means. That's an important issue in the midst of a zombie apocalypse.

One thing I learned: In order to survive in a zombie apocalypse, it is a good idea to follow certain rules: 1. Cardio. 2. The Double Tap 3. Beware of Bathrooms 4. Seatbelts. 17. Don't be a hero (That one was made to be broken). 18. Limber Up. 31. Always check the backseat. 32. Enjoy the little things (In Tallahassee's case, Twinkies).

The ending: Nice and wrapped up. Not all that dynamic, but not unpleasant from a literary, good-story-telling point of view, not that bad.

Go/Rent/Buy/Don't: GO SEE IT. I'm (un)dead serious.

Ninja Assassin

Witwiwo:

What: Ninja Assasin

When: Tuesday, December 2.

How Long: 1 hour, 33 minutes.

Where: Regal Manchester Cinemas in Rock Hill, SC.

Why: Jeff got the guys together to go see it after RUF, and I'd already wanted to go see it.

Expectations: A weak storyline coupled with overdone 300-esque action and violence.

What I ate while I watched: Mike and Ike's and a snuck-in 20 oz. Mountain Dew.

Director: James McTeigue.

Starring: Rain, Ben Miles, Naomi Harris

Two Sentence Synopsis: An orphan raised in one of the nine ninja clans turns on the man who raised and trained him to be a heartless killer. With the help of two Europol agents he attempts to overthrow the clan he was raised in.

My Favorite Part or Quote was: The warehouse fight scene that spilled out into the street. Seeing straight up Ninjutsu fighting in a busy European street with cars whizzing by was pretty magnificent.

How Fun It Was: Not "funny," but a lot of fun to watch--a very entertaining film. For a guy at least.

The Positives: Surprisingly, the storyline. Much more dynamic then I was expecting. There were a few small plot holes, but not so unbelievable. The fighting choreography was also very well done. The way in which the traditional Ninja moves (hiding in the shadows, throwing Ninja stars, etc.) were stylized was enjoyable as well.

The Negatives: The overdone blood and gore. They took a page right out of 300's book, except they made it a lot more exaggerated, to the point where it would make it unenjoyable to someone who doesn't like that kind of thing. Also, the "special heart" nonsense with a heart on the right side of you chest was pretty dumb.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: Not really much there. A little bit of "follow your heart" sort of mantra could be found, but the main point was Ninja kick-assery.

One thing I learned: Few things in my life will be as awesome as anything any one of the Ninjas did in the film.

The ending: Was pretty well done. The solid culmination to a surprisingly dynamic storyline.

Go/Rent/Buy/Don't: If you are a man who likes good action, go. If you do not like blood and gore then please do not go! You will not be pleased. I think it's definitely worth the rental or $2 movie fare.

Reign Over Me

Witwiwo:

What: Reign Over Me

When: The 24th of November, 2009 at approximately 9pm.

How Long: 2 hours, 4 minutes

Where: On the Testosterhome's kick-butt TV

Why (/Expectations): We were done with out Thanksgiving dinner, that's why! Gosh, what's with all the questions!? I'd heard it was good from a bunch of different people, but my expectations were relatively low.

What I ate while I watched: Swiss Cheese & Crackers (SO GOOD) and a Klondike Bar. Not in that order.

Starring: Adam Sandler, Don Cheadle, Liv Tyler, Jada Pinkett Smith. Also small appearances of Donald Sutherland and B.J. Novak, which were pretty good.

Director: Mike Binder (also the author)

Two Sentence Synopsis: Charlie Fineman (Adam Sandler) lost his wife and three daughters in the 9/11 attacks randomly reconnects with his college roommate, the now accomplished dentist Dr. Alan Johnson (Don Cheadle). As Johnson tries to help the psychologically devastated Fineman, he discovers much about loss, grief, and relationship even in his own life.

My Favorite Part or Quote was:

Charlie: Are you a faggot?

Johnson: Don't say faggot, you just don't call people faggot that's rude.

Charlie: To a gay guy it is, to you it's just a funny word like poundcake or pickle... You really need some Mel. [ordering tickets] Yeah, I'll take one adult and one faggot.

How Fun It Was: While I would never label it a comedy, it had some oh-my-goodness hilarious moments. The above quote is once such instance.

The Positives: This movie was real. That is, it portrayed characters who were not unbelievable in their circumstances. Nothing seemed forced in the plot. While a lot of actions were surprising, I felt like I was watching something that actually could have or should have happened. The amount of comedy, the degree of grief--everything seemed very realistic. Stellar performances by Cheadle and Sandler, too. It was nice to see Sandler do some good work that wasn't a comedy--a lot of people don't realize how good of an actor he is.

The Negatives: Very few. There was some sexual innuendo, but I didn't think it was forced or grotesque. And there was some language that some people may find offensive, but again: I don't feel like it was forced.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: Sadly, hardly a mention of God, but still it had a good point, that sometimes grief doesn't need to be "fixed" by a shrink or something, but kind, compassionate relationship.

One thing I learned: That, as a "fixer" of things, or someone who feels the need to control and fix things, sometimes I need to take a step back and find similarities in my own condition, instead of coming from a place of arrogance, and sit down with my fellow sinful man and community with him.

The Ending: For a feel good ending, I didn't feel like I was just being pleased as an American who's gotta have it all wrapped up well. I really felt like the ending was reasonable.

Go/Rent/Buy/Don't: GO SEE THIS MOVIE. At least rent it. But it is well worth the purchase.

The Prodigal God

Witwiwo:

What: The Prodigal God: Recovering the Heart of the Christian Faith

Author: Timothy Keller

When: Earlier this month

How Long: 133 pages, 1 week.

Where: In my bed.

What I used as a Bookmark: The tag from the Walk In Love t-shirt I bought a few months back.

Why (/Expectations): I had thought it was an interesting title, supposing it was a fresh take on the famous parable. And the speaker at Summer Conference said it would be the best book I read this year, so my expectations were pretty high.

Two Sentence Synopsis: Timothy Keller takes a fresh look at the famous parable, which he renames the "Parable of the Two Lost Sons." Discussing both sons, but paying special attention to the older brother, Keller applies their attitudes to our own attitudes and explains how they relate to the Christian walk. [my bad on 2 epic-long sentences]

My Favorite Part or Quote was: "What makes you faithful or generous is not just a redoubled effort to follow moral rules. rather, all change comes form a deepening understanding of the salvation of Christ and living out the changes that understanding creates in your heart. Faith in the gospel restructures our motivations, our self0understandnig, our identity and our view of the world. Behavioral compliance to rules without heart-change will be superficial and fleeting." (pages 118-119)

How Fun It Was: Not really "entertaining," per sé, but it wasn't boring or unfun.

The Positives: It is a fairly fresh look at the well-studied parable, and Keller does a good job of relating it to readers today. He also skillfully incorporates examples from well-known literature to bolster several of his points.

The Negatives: The first portion of the book, explaining the parable, was a little old for me. That could just be because I've heard a lot of different messages on it recently, but almost the first half was fairly old news.

The Theology, Philosophy, Morality or Application: Impeccable. Keller presents good Biblical exposition and exegesis, and offers a clear and strong challenge for the modern Church to accept the Father's invitation to come and feast.

One thing I learned: Fond memories are no place on which to rest hope. In a quote from Lewis: "the beauty, the memory of our own past—are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshipers." (page 94)

The ending: That is, the last two chapters, were actually my favorites and the most insightful.

Go/Borrow/Buy/Don't: It's definitely worth the borrow, and I'm glad I bought it, but I wouldn't recommend everyone follow suit.